My Sound Station

Dear Friends....

2008-05-20T19:01:00.002+05:30

Here's the thing. The next time you want to vent to me about how your lover was a bitch, please leave me out of it, unless you also vow to update me on the ensuing patch up, no matter how mushy it was. The mush I can handle, the terrible impression I'll carry around, of your lover, I can't. See, the thing is, yesterday I got to know of a friend A who was getting married, through a mutual friend B. Now B was kind enough to show me the album of A and his beau. When her face registered I was visibly surprised. And no, not in a happy kind of way, but in a I-can't-believe-he's-marrying-her kind of way. Since the time A told me about her (which was two years ago), I have had the worst possible picture about her. Obviously I wasn't on the mailing list, when things patched up. But now I am mad at A, for making me feel so guilty for being such a bitch. I can't help but wonder if she'll make A happy and if I should ever run into them, I'd be eyeing daggers at her wincing that after all she did, he is still marrying her.

So for the love of god, if you want me to feel happy for you when you patch up with your jerk/bitch, save the sob story for someone else.

Warm regards...

Get Gorgeous Or UnHinged

2007-07-15T18:57:00.000+05:30

"Your personality is zilch"

Thus spake, Alison Kanuga, the jury member of "Get Gorgeous 4" (courtesy Channel [V]). Never mind that her own personality that resembles all the collagen (which looks like its coming off her face) in her system. Fake and plastic.

I hate to break this to you Alison, but if you pick potential candidates for this immensely frivolous show, off the road on the basis of their complexion, figure and dressing sense, you should brace yourself to meet nubiles with no personality or worse, the personality of a goldfish.

"Pack your bags. Your "Get Gorgeous" dream is over/has ended"
Its become commonplace for jury members of such reality shows to be acrimonious and unnecessarily brutal with the contestants. Simon Cowell sort of set the precedent for Shantanu Mehra and other other shows that host judges like Ismail Darbar, Aadesh Shrivastav, Himesh Reshammiya and Asha Bhonsle even.

Much to my chagrin, I was made to sit through a singing talent show called "Idea Star Singer Contest" on Asianet. I was pleasantly surprised by the sensitivity and friendliness of the judges like MG Sreekumar. They respect the sentiments of an artist and don't really bicker among themselves or threaten to leave the show at the drop of a hat (which I have always seen as a gimmick to push TRP, really).

I never thought I'd say this, but Simon, watch some Asianet will you? Oh, Alison, you too.

Precious Words of Wisdom

2006-11-18T14:09:00.000+05:30

"You can go on talking bullshit and continue that bullshit. I am totally impervious, repeated bullshit doesn't become wisdom,"

"It doesn't matter to me at all that I have lost my good name judged by some people who are bad. Bad people will always judge wrong."

I am blinded by Ram Jethmalani's astute wisdom and sense of judgement. Since when did "bullshit" become acceptable language for Main Stream Media? And if the octagenarian, Jethmalani has indeed uttered thus sacred words, I must say he's catching up with the times. And the fact that we share the same birthday, leaves me feeling less than proud.

Damien Rice on Tour

2006-11-18T13:26:00.000+05:30

The love of my life, Damien Rice is on tour. Needless to say, he's touring in the US. So any Damien fans out there wanting to go see him live, well, go grab your chance :) And any particularly philantropic fans willing to assist another fan to travel across a few seas and continents to see Damien play live, please drop a line. I promise to be your slave all my life.

***

Welcome To The Freak Show

2006-10-12T13:13:00.000+05:30

I signed on with Google Analytics two weeks ago, just to know what kind of searches bring freaks to my blog. Here's two that really amused me:

"how to give a guy space so he'll miss you"

"did i scare him off?"

Obviously, the searches were made by women or gay men. Either way, this is the thing. If you find answers to these elsewhere, please let me know if it works. I'd sure as hell like to try.

Virtuously Yours

2006-10-09T22:23:00.000+05:30

She: K, What's your all time, ultimate, most favourite song evaaaaa?
Me: No one song.
She: I used to be that way too, but now I have some favourites shaping up
Me: I am very fickle by nature. Whether its work or places or men or women or philosophy or even my music. All depends on the situation or mood. I have trouble even committing to a song choice
She: (With a smirk) So you are even more promiscuous than I am, huh?
Me: Yep, I am an ideological slut

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

Side : Travis

2006-09-26T12:04:00.000+05:30

Have you heard, "Side" by Travis? I heard it for the first time yesterday. Its fresh in my mind, no associations to any person, any love, any hate, any moment, any smell, any face.. Just the song and what it means to me. Something about it makes me want to cry copiously and jump off roofs and I don't know why. The fact that it will never sound the same again, the next time I hear it, is not comforting.

One Right Stand

2006-09-12T13:55:00.000+05:30

"Looking good today. "

"Thanks"

"Take off your clothes"

.. why didn't he answer my call yesterday? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? Maybe the phone was elsewhere. But then, he would have seen my missed call by now. Why didn't he call back?

"Lie down.."

..Maybe he was tired. Or maybe he thought I'd call again. Or could it have been something I did last night? Maybe I kissed too hard? Kissed too much? Drat, too eager. They hate that.

"How do I feel when I touch you here?"

"It's okay.."

".. and here?"

"Better.."

..Its better that I don't really call today. Maybe he'll miss me so much, that he'll call back. I should give him that chance, right? I shouldn't look desperate or stalkerish to him. Absolute no-no.

"Can you make little circles with your toes? Right here.. no, lower.. lower.. aaaahh.. right there.. yeah"

.. Yeah, no calling today. No SMS. No chat. No nothing. He'll think of me. He'll miss me. And he'll want me so much, he'll call me for sure.

"Spread your legs.. wider... no some more."

..What if he doesn't call? I should have a plan B. Surely I can't call him tomorrow. That'll look so lame. He'll see right through it. How can I not talk to him for two days?

"Faster, K. Faster... yes... yes.. I know this 50 year old woman who had two accidents. She was here last evening. She does it better and faster than you. Fasssttteerr... K.. "

..Maybe I am going too fast. We should do this slow. I should give him space. Yes. That's whats every guy wants. Space. But what does one do with all that 'space'.

"aaaahhh.. wonderful.. Now turn over. That's right.. on your tummy.. Love your ass by the way "

.. I was almost tempted to say the 'L' word yesterday. I wanted to. Maybe he saw that I wanted and that I didn't and that pissed him off. But I didn't want to scare him away. Surely he should know that.

".. K.. focus.. now.. push.. pusshh.. harder.. harrrdeerrr.. "

.. Why does it have to be so hard everytime? I think I should call him. Just once. No more. And if he doesn't answer, then I'll never call him again. .till tomorrow..

"It was good today, no? Here, wear your clothes.. take a shower. See you tomorrow. We'll try something new next time."

"Sure.. Can't Wait."

Above mentioned is a true incident, interspersed with true thoughts, that occured during a regular session of physiotherapy.

Flash Fiction Cleverly Disguised As Spam

2006-08-30T12:39:00.000+05:30

Looks like you did it, Jim. End of mission. Congratulations.
those who may answer your question. Now-you must answer my question.
kit and poked my finger on the symbol for stairs. Now, down to the
services. They are well supplied with television receivers and can
post.
More blows to his head. He tried to rise, his legs were kicked from
You will, you will. Shall we go?
from me to my followers. And gasped, turned pale under his tan, and
cannot face it. We are too trained for survival and nothing else.

Yes, yes, Not ORIGINAL, I know. But you are being entertained right? That's why you are here, yes?

P.S: Its funny, that your name is on it, JIM. :)

Living The Sugar-Cube Life

2006-08-15T13:10:00.000+05:30

If I were an animal, I'd be a horse. I simply love sugar cubes..

When I got kicked out of my university hostel, I moved to a smaller hostel with bigger rooms. Naina, remember, how we went to Nilgiris for the first time, to get groceries? I bought this small imported box of sugar cubes. Though I don't remember how much it costed me, then, it was pretty darn expensive. It felt like royalty, to drop in some cubes into my steaming cup of Nescafe. As the budgetary constraints of living alone, began to slowly dawn on me. Nescafe turned to bru and then back to nescafe (my parents agreed to spoil this bitch, by sending a bottle or two every once in a while). The nestle dairy whitner turned to some unheard of low-life-brand which would never dissolve completely and would turn up as white flaky things that would stick to my tongue, when I drank the coffee. My anxious parents doubled up and sent me big tins of Nido (Yes yes, I know. Spoilt.)

Sugar cubes were replaced by coarse sugar from the little potti-kadai. And that, it stayed. Nope, no sugar cubes from Doha.

I like a life of luxury. I don't see why hedonism is a bad thing. Its all very well to say, "Think of the kids in Africa". But how many people who say that, do anything for charity?
The only time I miss having a boyfriend is..
.. nope not K.Johar movies
.. nope not Mills & Boons
.. nope not soppy adverts
.. nope not Vday either

.. when I go to Home Center. You know that home, you have always dreamt of having? That leather couch you want to sink in while you enjoy your home theatre system? That privileged four poster bed, that you and your mate will grow old in? Imagine a place where there are so many such "mini-worlds". Beds of every shape and color. Curtains of every material you can imagine. Couches of every conceivable shape. Lord, its like paradise.

Thats the only time I wish I had a boyfriend with whom, we could pick the beautiful objects that will fill every corner of our home, fight it out over the color of the carpet an eventually settle down with something we both despise. LOL. Tire our asses out unpacking everything we bought, argue over which corner the lightstand would go in. Realizing together we spent way over budget, but feel happy we have the most beautiful home ever. Its the idea of the home, I am in love with.

Over the years, the fantasy of THE 'man' has changed faces various times, over the years. But the idea remains the same.

If I were an animal, I'd be a horse. But don't they shoot dead, horses with broken legs? I'd be one dead horse, alright.

2006-08-04T12:53:00.000+05:30

"The more things change, the more they remain the same. And when you change, it doesn't happen like an explosion. Most people wouldn't even notice the difference but inside you know there is a world of difference. And you hope you never have to change again, that you can hold to who you are now, and stay that way all you life."

I am moving to a new home soon. On so many levels. While cleaning up, I found this tiny paper with the above written on it in my handwriting. I don't know when I wrote it or if it's my own. All I know is, I don't like change.

Unless it's a big bag of pennies..

Freshly Imported

2006-07-22T14:15:00.000+05:30

Lessons learnt from India

Bombay is not rude. Its just indifferent. Out of no choice. And all this bollocks about the Mumbaiya Spirit is a load of crock. People just "HAVE" to pick up the pieces and go to work the next day, come floods or riots or train blasts simply because, if they don't, someone else will have their seat and job the next day.

Bangalore may be "slower" than Bombay is, but people are too busy with their own lives to answer the phone, or return calls or meet up. I wonder if being an IT city and having a parallel, "convenient" internet-social-life has anything to do with it.

No matter how big Bombay is and how much one needs to commute and how busy people may be, they always have time to socialize.

Aryak & Ranj, you simply rock my world. The trip to the five star restaurant was probably THE best. And I'll never forget the "Hi, Have we met?" incident. :)

Al, thank you for having called every single day.

Tamara and Anuja, Basilico was fucking marvellous. And thats the first place we'll go to, the next time I am down.

Just so you know..

2006-06-28T18:13:00.000+05:30

I was DJKrishkay, long before Rang De Basanti or Krrish .. happened.

MJ in Qatar

2006-06-21T14:03:00.000+05:30

What with Michael Jackson being embroiled in yet another legal battle and his tigers being taken away from him and all I have a very strong feeling that he might need a breather. He's been in Bahrain for a while and he might want to visit Qatar. A certain reputed hotel has already moved in on this opportunity it seems.

The advert reads..
"Complimentary use of kids for all season's activities"

Michael Jackson, are you listening?

P.S: Please Click on Images, for details

Raavan & Friends

2006-06-11T20:14:00.000+05:30

Aditya: you have a weird sense of humour like raavan. he laughs when noone expects him to

DJ: How did you know Ravan? were you very close?

Aditya: he's in the same branch as mine. i gave him my shirt to wear once

DJ: Does he like the course very much?

Aditya: noone likes it

DJ: he could never fit into your shirt with all those heads. are they detachable, by the way? what's he like, with a cold?

Aditya: with a cold, we use him as a drip irrigation system in the garden. they are not detachable, they are invisible

DJ: But its still there

Aditya: invisibly so

DJ: so you can't really pass your hands through where his heads are can you?

Aditya: never tried.. i dont want to punch him in those dripping noses

Goa Ir

2006-06-10T19:04:00.000+05:30

## Start of GoPaGaL Tag ##

If you've been tagged by me, please visit : http://www.pagalguy.com/goblog/

GoAir and PaGaLGuY.com bring to you the GoPaGaL Campaign where you can win free return tickets to the destination of your choice. Winning is simple.

Step 1--> Just copy paste this tag on your blog after adding answers to the questions below and publish this as a blog post on your blog!

Step 2--> Head out to http://www.pagalguy.com/goblog/ , fill in the form and send them your Name and Blog post URL

Step 3-->Finally, tag 4 more blog users and let the world know. Promise! Its that simple and should take you no more than 5 minutes!!Without you tagging 4 other bloggers, your entry will stand disqualified. Make sure, you specify the name of the blogger and the URL to their blog.

Answer the question below :

Q) On which GoAir Sector would you like to win a free air ticket?
A) Mumbai - Goa ( You can pick your own route. To know all the routes covered by GoAir, please visit http://www.goair.in )

Tag
I would like to link the following bloggers!
(Please include the full URL to the blogger you are tagging)
e.g: http://insane.pagalguy.com, http://whatblogmen.blogspot.com etc etc

1) Confused Chennaiite --> http://haripi2.blogspot.com/

2) Corrigible Ankush --> http://incorrigible.blogdrive.com/

3) Mercurial Shru --> http://mumble_jumble.blogspot.com/

4) Dilbert Chand --> http://www.chandoo.org/blog

End of Question & Answer

Now head over to http://www.pagalguy.com/goblog/ and submit your entry to win the tickets. New winners will be announced every fortnight!

Why? What? How?

This is an unique campaign run by 'GoAir - The People's Airline' and 'PaGaLGuY.com - India's largest MBA forum'.

Theyare giving out over 26 return airtickets over a period of two months!

Join the insanity and find more ways to win tickets at http://www.pagalguy.com/gopagal/

Visit GoAir - http://www.goair.in
Visit PaGaLGuY.com - http://www.pagalguy.com

## End of GoPaGaL Tag ##

Absolut Congrats

2006-06-04T17:03:00.000+05:30

This post is dedicated to my Fellow Bums at the PaGaLGuY.com Headquarters in Mumbai.

"Its been a fabulous year for us. So here's to all of you at PG, for all those sleepless nights, for all those Tee manufacturers we fired, to those people we never hired, to the ones we did, to all those obnoxious Bschoolers, to all those lawsuits, to the new office, to pagalgirl.com, to all those believed and those who didn't.

:) To you, from me.

Cheers to us. :)"

P.S: I made that from scratch, btw. :)

Being Politically "In"

2006-05-27T02:33:00.000+05:30

Ravi: Tell me whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ... are you so gayyyyyy

DJ

gay? like happy?

Ravi

so who's the question for?

Ravi

"i want it that way"

bsb?

Ravi

yes

whats gay about BSB?

Ravi

they just r

oh that establishes it.

Ravi

yes

Why is it so "in" to bash up boy bands and call them gay?

Flash Fiction, Perhaps?

2006-05-27T00:18:00.000+05:30

I got this in the email today.

Here's a screenshot and the actual text.

" 'Nothing wrong with the idea, either, he said. czechoslovakia amount On his feet were a pair of threadbare slippers.

He saw Annie Wilkes in a long aproned dress, her hair covered with a mobcap, an Annie who looked like a nurse in London's Bedlam Hospital. His eyes widened. And still that soft flumping sound of something being dragged. She didn't want to let him go back to work - not at first. Not, at least, until I'd spoken to you, if ye take my meaning, sair. Then, just before the car got to the edge, the door banged open and out he flew onto the road! 'he cried, and ran to her, as he had that day in Liverpool, when it seemed certain that the pirates had taken her away as Mad Jack Wickersham had sworn they would. coach"

Spam can be entertaining. :)

Meanwhile.. Some university diplomas, anyone?

Arabs Aren't Asians Or What?!!

2006-05-23T13:57:00.000+05:30

Dr Faysal al-Huzayfi, a professor of political science in Yemen, gave a speech on the impact of Arab culture on the performance of the Civil Society.
He said the density of the Asian population in the Gulf region is a menace to Arab culture and identity.
"It seems that we live in one of the states of India," he said while calling for developing a strategy to counter the adverse effects of this presence.

I am sorry, what??!! Did he just call Asians a "menace"? Cockroaches, flies, rodents, and other forms of pestilence are a "menace". Terrorism is a menace. Loudy noisy neighbours are a menace.

Maybe sir, you aren't aware that these Asians you've talked about are the ones that fall down manholes due to their employers' negligence, and lack basic medical facilities, are duped into being paid a pittance or nothing, and die under scaffoldings. These tall buildings and architectural marvels you admire from your air conditioned car, on your way from the airport to your five star hotel are built by these "menaces" in a weather, you wouldn't last in for over five minutes. Thats your culture. Thats your identity.

Ironically, this gentleman was speaking at a forum, about the role of NGO's. A lot was spoken about "combating poverty and providing health and social care for needy people." Now what does dilution of arab culture have anything to do with the above? I have no idea.

And for fucks sake, since when did Arabs become Non-Asians? You are every bit Asian as the people in India, you feel like you share a state with.

It's Time? Update

2006-05-21T15:06:00.000+05:30

From where I sit, I see a sign. It reads "Knowlegeable". Its been up for three days now. Today's the fourth.

I am convinced its a form of torture. The word is a part of a series of logos of a bank. The misspelled word is right where I can see it. It taunts and teases and I can't change it.

The process I need to go about to change it, is rather long winded and elaborate and will earn me the reputation of an annoying show off. And its too big a tag to carry.

I don't know how to explain my need for perfection.

I like writing the titles of my stories in "Title Case" . Like This. As opposed to "Sentence case". Like this. But thats not how newsapers do it. Why don't they like my style? At least its all spelt right. But thats not enough. I need to fit into the world's idea of perfection. Which is dictated by "reality" as opposed to "logic".

Maybe my perfection is biased. Is there any such thing as a biased perfection. I only like my spellings right. I like to pick the right words.

Sometimes its easier to give in, than argue.

But "knowlegeable" is too testing. Maybe its a sign that I need to quit. All over a missing "D".

Update (May 21st, 2006): The sign's gone, today.

Asians Are Racists

2006-05-14T21:43:00.000+05:30

Before you start vehemently commenting, please shut up and read on and then go ballistic, okay?

In Bangalore, most clubs are "entry for couples only"... meaning, only girl-guy couples or single girls are allowed in. And some even have dress codes. And the bouncers enforce it rather religiously, with the piety of a temple priest. However when a european/american/australian or a caucasian looking tourist walks up, alone and in violation of dresscode, the stoic, grim look on the bouncers' face soften to that of a subservient concierge.

Don't tell me its a Bangalore thing. One tiny part of me is happy that clubs are forced to shut down at 11.30. Serves them right.

In Doha, I am told, people face the same problem, at clubs. I have seen my colleagues bend over in kindness to european clients and speak with utmost civility to those from their own country. But the Asian "tea boys" (lingo for peons) and Indian clients are spoken to, in the same harsh baritone, lacking civility. South East Asians are easily passed up at the time of promotions and bonuses.

According to this news report, an australian appointed as the head of the national Health Authority in Doha is being paid QR 160, 000 per month. Thats an obscene amount of money considering, we have no system of taxes here. According to the newspaper, his salary is eight times that of Qatari directors in various ministries.

Do I need to travel to every asian country to verify they are any different?

"You CAN'T make blanket statements about ALL ASIANS from your experiences in two paltry excuse-for-cities in Asia"

Oh, I very well can and will.

I am not going to expatiate on racism. Its pointless to pontify on a topic thats been talked about to death, unless I have some new scientific proof that explains why white skin merits so many perks.

In spite of my reservations about Michael Jackson's child-related activities, I find myself sympathising with him. Who can blame him for wanting to be white?

Oh THE reservation Controversy in India? We'll save that for another dreary summer night.

In case you were wondering...

2006-05-12T00:16:00.000+05:30

.. The A on this post is the not same as the A on this post

The former is a married, middle aged, sleazy, annoyingly selfish git..

The latter is a goodlooking, genuine, attractive, young bloke.

They couldn't be more different.

Lankan expats 'forced to fund LTTE'

2006-05-11T18:17:00.000+05:30

Published: Thursday, 11 May, 2006,
By Rohit William Wadhwaney

As their homeland teeters on the brink of a civil war, Sri Lankan Tamils living in Qatar are finding it impossible to hide from the separatist Tamil Tigers 'fundraisers', who come knocking on their doors every month and extort money to fund their fight for an independent country.

From the richest to the poorest, almost none of the island's Tamils working in the Arabian peninsula is spared, sources said.

Kumaran (name changed), 31, a sweeper, who makes just QR500 a month, is forced to 'donate' about 20% of his salary to the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE).

"Every month they come to the camp. I have to give them QR100." he says. "Not just me, but every Sri Lankan Tamil in Qatar is forced to shell out money from their pocket."

Read the rest of the story here.

New Space

2006-05-08T00:47:00.000+05:30

Welcome to my new space. I have been living in that dark grungy old blog template for too long and was dying to move. It was full of bugs and people kept cribbing abt lighting.
This template is my design. Its been tried and tested among a few respectable readers. And they have okayed it for use. Some old posts I like are here, some aren't. I have added some new stuff in here too. Like the next two ones.

My blog is merely a 4000 hits young. Which is not much to speak of. But I am not trying to garner new visitors or generate more traffic. So lounge about here for a bit, look around, say a line or two. But you can't stay the night.

P.S: I still make templates some times. requests are welcome. I can't always fulfill em, because I have a full time job. But I promise to try.

2006-05-08T00:36:00.000+05:30

SCENARIO 1

A: (Insert URL Link to his blog)

me: I am sorry, what?

A: :)

A: sorry for being terse

A: actually just wanted to point you to a blog i created many moons ago

A: but never got around to writing

me: I am quite aware of its existence, thank you.

me: its on your signature

me: and I've seen it many mooms ago right abt when it was born

me: *moons

A: yea but i have posted something thats why i wanted to let u know

A: i didnt know how to attach the exact url

me: Right.

A: sorry for distrubing you

A: its okay

A: ignore maadi

me: I feel very weird when people who (I) haven't spoken to, in ages, finally decide to drop a line only to advertise themselves

A: fuck off

me: im sorry i made a mistake

me: You too, A

Scenario 2
"Blogging has become a chore now. What used to be a passion is becoming an obligation. I am fed up of trying to come up with things that people would like reading about. I wanna quit"

Okay, first of all, its preposterous to imagine your blog would be so important to anybody that you not blogging would change the world. Unless you have a website for which you pay a webhosting fee, you have no obligation to keep your blog updated, unless you want to.

I know many people don't read my blog and I am totally cool with that. There are a few who do, and are entertained by it. To those of em, thank you for your readership. I am quite aware that if I advertise blatantly everywhere, I'll prolly have a few more readers. And I am also aware that, that's how a lot of mediocre blogs have such a high amount of traffic. These lousy excuses for blogs are everywhere, its their status message on messengers, its their signature on forums, their signature on emails, and they randomly leave moronic comments and shouts everywhere, on already popular blogs, to fleece some publicity from there. Or as an example, like A, just send random "hey-check-out-my-blog" mass messages to ALL the people on your lists.

Using fillers like Popular song lyrics and Quizilla results, are such a put off. I have to say though, the blog of Koonal (yes, the same dude I mercilessly abused a few months ago), has some excellent non-original stuff. He has this unique talent of picking unconventional obscure poetry and quotes out of god-knows-where that make such interesting reading. No regular mush or copy-paste jobs of sappy crappy forwards though. You don't want to blog anymore? Khallas, let the blog die a natural death, dude. Why beat the crap out of it?

Course, if you lived like me, in a vast desert like Qatar, where nothing much ever happens, no one would really blame you. :)

Occupational Hazards

2006-05-04T00:32:00.000+05:30

I wasn't born to be a journalist or anything. In fact, I think I could be anything I want to be. But I did have certain impressions about journalists, growing up. Stage One was where I believed, that reporters have no bias and are not allowed to have opinions and its one of those unspoken oaths that all journalists have to take. Then when I started interacting with them, more, I realised, they do have the luxury of an opinion and a unique one, at that.

As a result, to me, they were eclectic, mysterious, wise and on the whole, "cool". "They are the 'IN' people, dude." But that was way before I went to a Journalism School. Some classmates revulsed me and some were deeply saddening. They all seemed so confused and agonised and dissatisfied.

I don't know if its reporting about poverty one day and an actor's serial kisses the next or just knowing that your job is to merely document and not be change's agent. Either way, the armor had more chinks now.

Now that I do Public Relations in Qatar, I encounter more journalists than ever. And I am yet to meet someone I like. They are all so arrogant, lack (N?)etiquette, don't return calls, show a never-before-seen gluttony for the freebies in press kits, write terribly, are intrusive, snobbish, and juvenile.

This is not to say PR people are any more holier. They treat Journalists like crap too. Make them wait for hours.. and think they are vermin, just because they need those press releases to fill up pages in a paper which is local-stories-impoverished.

If you are happy and you are not dysfunctional and you are a journalist, please drop a line.

Last Post

2006-05-02T16:23:00.000+05:30

This One's For Jim

The One About The Shit List
The world I live in has a lot of jerks. They are everywhere. On the road. In my office. Amongst my friends. In my family. They are constantly, competing and vying for each other's position in the top 5. Just when I think, they can't get any worse, they raise the bar. So honestly its hard to put em all here in this limited amount of space.

The One About Brushes With Death/Danger
Sorry, plenty of these too. I am reckless. So I have had a few here and there and since they aren't exactly the most memorable moments of my life, I've promptly forgotten them.

The One About Suicide
I don't want to even think about it, let alone try it.

The One About Guilty Pleasures
In order to keep this appropriate for family viewing, I shall list only two

1) Daydreaming. I indulge in it so often. That its almost an obsession.

2) Downloading music/movies off the net for free. I know a lot of people do it and its no big deal. But I don't exactly like stealing. If you are a producer, well, all I got to say is, I am sorry, but I promise not to make CD's off it and make money from it okay?

The One About The Unforgettables
1) My first kiss

2) The stories I did as a journalist

3) The first time, I saw myself bald

4) The time I spent with JP, Ben, Nain & Abhi

5) The first time I ever went to a discotheque

The One About The Forgettables
Why document, what you want to forget?

The One About Exotic Dishes
Never tried anything.

The One About Crushes
Studies say, I have a crush every 18 hours. Research shows this remarkable phenomenon began when I was in 3rd grade. The only one worth mentioning is the one I spent (read "wasted") 10 years of my life, over.

The One About Dreams
I remember every dream I ever had because I document them. I started this because most of the closer-to-reality kinds come true. That in itself is strange.

The One About Possessions
Laptop, Music, Ipod, Handycam, People

The One About SuperHeroes
Nope, nothing here.
I know Jim, I haven't answered many. So to make it up to you, I make a new List. This is about "Five People Who Have Left An Impression on My life"

The One About Impressives

L is huge. He's fat. And I don't like the way he looks one bit. But he has an amazing voice. And I love the way he talks. But most of all I like his honesty. His "friends" are all men. He has no women friends to speak of. Actually, none at all. What about the women? He sleeps with all of em. Without exception. I wanted to be an exception. But he didn't want to continue our acquaintance, unless I slept with him. I said, I couldn't. And he stopped talking to me. We part ways amicably. I still like him. For that, he called me a loser. But I still like his honesty.

Koonal I met by accident. A few posts by him about women were ripped apart on my blog by me. He deleted the posts soon afterwards. Yet he was intriguing to me. I like his weirdness. I like being able to talk in abstract to him. I like the way his mind works. And I like him and I am glad for knowing him.

Z is my clone. I met him at a time of exile. When there was no one else in my life save my family and my therapist. No matter how much we talk, we never run out of things to say. Z embodies perfection. I owe him my first play. Sometimes you don't have to see miracles to believe in them. You just know.

A is.. I don't know what he is. To me he's more than a friend. I admire him with intense envy. He writes with a flair I envy. He excels in a profession I chose for myself. He has it all intrigue, mystique, talent and arrogance.. And justifiable arrogance to me is a good thing. If I am ever a journalist, I want to be like him. Did I also mention, he's good looking.

Ro is a nut. In this vast desert that Qatar is, he is THE ONLY distinct soul. And I know the word "soul" is used loosely to also say "person". Its not the same in this context. He does have a distinct soul. I like him for his painful honesty and craziness. He writes; doesn't read. As shallow as me. Immensely public and incredibly unfriendly. He's complex and yet so simple to read. He walks whenever humanly possible and avoids taking a lift in a summer that scorches at 42 degrees. One plate of flame grilled Ro, coming right up.

With that I end my last post on this blog. Somethings are going to change around here. Sorry Jim, for this lousy excuse for a tag.

Eraser

2006-04-27T17:08:00.000+05:30

I remember when we had to switch from pencil to pen in school. It meant I could no longer rub my mistakes anymore. I'd keep reaching out for the eraser (then inadvertently called, "Rubber") and flipping my pen over. For a while, I switched back to using a pencil first and then would write with a pen over it. But that was neurotic and too painstaking. I'd scribble and scrawl to hide my mistakes till I discovered there's "white ink". But that would only hide my mistake, not erase it. I hated it.

I want to live my life the pencil way.

Wrong Day

2006-03-30T01:03:00.000+05:30

Things that could have wrong today

1) People hating the calendar I made

2) Getting fired over the same

3) Me missing the movie I wanted to watch

4) Missing a ride to the mall to meet classmates who I haven't seen in 4 years

5) Slip on the floor tiles at the pool and break yet another hipbone

Things that DID go wrong today

1) People did hate the calendar I made. But... some have been the most graciously kind about it.

2) I haven't been fired yet. But... I was very keen on firing myself and thats even worse.

3) I did miss the movie I wanted to watch. But... did watch another brilliant movie which did take away a little bit of the anxiety and anger

4) Didn't miss a ride to the mall. But... nah, nothing here to add.

5) I did slip on that floor as expected. But... caught myself before hitting the floor.

Should I fire myself someday, would crystal ball gazing be a suitably lucrative profession?

Oh shoot, I am supposed to be able to answer that, innit?

Fake Headlines

2006-03-18T15:47:00.000+05:30

It is the year 2008 and The World has invaded The United States of America. And in what is considered an act of retribution, the reason for the invasion has been stated as "possession of weapons of mass destruction". The World bloc has released a list of items recovered from these countries which falls under the WMD category. Here's an exclusive glimpse at the list:

Dick Cheney's Music Album titled "Cheney's Got A Gun". This autobiographical musical album was inspired by the shooting mishap, in which Cheney accidently shot and wounded his friend, Whittington. The gun used by Cheney, is yet to be recovered.

The entire cast of The Bold & The Beautiful. If you don't know why, do yourself a favor and never come back to this blog again.

Simon Cowell. It is reported that he was wearing one of famed black T-shirts at the time of arrest. Hundred other similar black shirts were recovered from his wardrobe. Apparently, the officials had to stuff a sock in his mouth, to make him shut up. Randy Jackson was too busy training the all new mixed Cheerleading Squad called "The Dawg Pound" and Paula Abdul was unavailable for comment. Ryan Seacrest, however, is rumored to have thrown a party, the same night.

Smiley Central. Nothing I say sufficiently expresses the anger of the World Bloc Against the nasty vermin. The owners of Smilet Central are seeking political asylum in the homes of Danish cartoonists.

Sidney Sheldon. A few officials are said to be shocked to have found Sidney to be a 'man', unlike previously imagined.

Danielle Steele. She was in midst of writing a new book called "Bittersweat"

Paris Hilton. Paris was arrested on the sets of Award winning filmmaker T Rajeevnath's movie,St.Theresa, in which she plays the lead role of.. yep.. Mother Theresa indeed. She reportedly asked, if "the handcuffs were available in 'boutique'". For the ill-informed, boutique means 'specialised, designer wear'.

McDonalds Inc. They are widely considered to be the single most biggest reason for blowing up (Pun?) obesity to pandemic proportions.

Michael Jackson. At the time of arrest, MJ was inaugurating The Jackson Paediatric Hospital.

Outgoing President George W. Bush. Enough Said.

This Post is dedicated To Jer.:)

Dear Artist

2006-03-08T13:13:00.000+05:30

Dear Artist,
If you find your name here, please release your next album as soon as you can, cuz its been a while. I wait for it every single day and I have listened to what you have already sung, a million times over. So hurry up, will ya?

Love,
Me

>>Anna Nalick

>>Buddha & Stone

>>The Corrs

>>Counting Crows

>>Damien Rice

>>John Mayer

>>Jose Gonzalez

>>Lifehouse

>>Michelle Branch

>>Norah Jones

>>Outlandish

>>Ryan Adams

>>Tori Amos

P.S: If you will just roll over the left of the artist name, there is a link to the artist website and music clips. Just so you know, what I live on :)

MV Doulos

2006-02-21T20:35:00.000+05:30

I went on a book shopping spree at MV Doulos. The collection they had to offer mostly comprised of popular classics than recent releases. So here's my loot:

Music:

Between the lines: Jazz cafe

Simple Pleasure: Jazz cafe

Celtic Nights: Long Ago on Emerald Isle

Prelude: The Best Of Charlotte Church (For Sis)

Books:

For Me-->

Art School-How to Paint and Draw (A complete

course on practical and creative techniques): Hazel Harrison

Anderson's Fairy tales: Hans Christian Anderson

Just So Stories: Rudyard Kipling

The Picture Of Dorian Gray: Oscar Wilde

English Fairytales

Railway Children: E. Nesbit

Dictionary Of Quotations: JM & MJ Cohen

Spooky Stories-A Haunting collection of Ghostly

Tales and Creepy rhymes

The Healing Power Of Prayer (Don't get all excited. Its for dad)

Indian Kitchen (What have I said about me & cooking? For Mom, silly)

Bargain Buy (Five Items for 20 riyals)

Lovers & Dreamers: Nora Roberts

Liver (Live-r; Not the human organ, nut!): Steve Taylor (CD)

Junie. B Boss Of Lunch(for Sis): Barbara Park

Chocolate For A Teen's Dreams(for sis, again)

Cool careers without college For Nature Lovers

Obviously, not for me :P

Needless to say, I spoke to a lot of crew members at the ship and I'm very tempted to run away with them. It doesn't take a lot of skills to be there. All I need to know is how to swim. :)

Basturd

2006-02-02T02:59:00.000+05:30

Unword For The Day:
Basturd (Noun)
Definition 1: Shitty Bastard
2: Illegitimate Frog Child

Copyright of DJK, Ranj & Puneet

2006-01-23T15:45:00.000+05:30

Shru got tagged in June and she posted in December. She in turn tagged me in December and I thought, in keeping with tradition I might make this post in June. But as things stand now, I may not even be blogging then. So here it is while I am still in business.

Book Truths

I started Reading when I was three
My parents used to bribe me with Books so I'd go for haircuts
My favourite author as a child was Enid Blyton and yeah, shru, I'd call him/her (I am still not sure, either) Gnid too.
I spent a large part of my pre adolescent life believing Sidney Sheldon is a woman.
I hate nothing more than my books not being returned to me.
I have picked up this annoying habit of underlining lines I like ,with a pencil, in the book. Yes, don't lend me your books.
If I don't like the way a story is going, I abandon the book, no matter how brilliantly written, no matter how killing the suspense. I end the story the way I like it in my head.
I don't like reading over hyped books. Like say, Dan Brown's "Da Vinci Code", whatshisname's "Who Moved My Cheese" Joseph Heller's "Catch 22" etc. Only exception is Harry Potter which I quit reading after book five, owing to reason#7.
I don't like Ebooks.
I love Cosmopolitan.
I have never read Terry Pratchett and Wodehouse. But I plan to this year.
Books are my favourite gifts. I read them before gifting them (and no, I don't underline em). So now you know why it looks just a wee bit worn.
I have read only two non-fictional books so far.
I have only read one Mills & Boon and I find them thoroughly depressing.
I am who I am only because I read. And I am thankful to my parents for it.

Number of Books I Own

I never cared to count beyond 500. Most of em are Amar Chitra Katha Mythology books, and Tinkles. The rest comprise of Enid Blytons and Garfield's.

Last Book I Bought & Read

He's Just Not That Into You: Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccilo

My favourites:

The Little Match Girl : Hans Christian Anderson

I was 5, when I read this book. It's the first and last book I read, with a tragic ending. I love this book to bits.

The Giant All Color Book Of Fairy Tales retold by Jane Carruth:

Yep, I am a sucker for happy endings.

Roald Dahl:

All of his books mean the world to me. Thanks to his books, I am now officially The Queen of Make Believe

The Faraway Tree Series : Enid Blyton

I loved making up lands that would visit The Faraway Tree.

We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families- Stories from Rwanda by Philip Gourevitch:

My more recent favourite book. This is 100% fact and zero fiction. You have to read this book chapter by chapter each day.

Ranj, bum, I am surprised no one has tagged you yet. Or maybe they have. Post the link if you have done it already. Or else, get to task NOW! :D

Oh drat! I just remembered, I have done a book tag before.

2006-01-08T17:09:00.000+05:30

What better way to start a year than blog about my pet peeves. Thankoo Ranj, for the tag.

People with nostril hair sticking out. Dammit, if you can see it in your bathroom mirror, I can too. So please, use em lil scissors.
Music snobs. Its okay to not like Backstreet Boys or Westlife or Britney Spears. But to call em all faggots or judge people by what they listen to, is being fricking snobbish.
People use an *f* word after every two words in their sentence. You know what happens then? It loses its "charm"(?).
Pathologically Spelling Impaired. Yep. You lot, who can't spell not because you don't know how to, but because you don't want to.
B-schoolers who have no respect for deadlines unless they are getting graded or paid for it.
Malayalis. Oh that requires explanation? They have this strange sort of bonding. Its like they have a Mallu Detect Sensor installed in their nose. They sniff out the malayalis and once the target has been zeroed on, the third degree begins. 'Eviddina?'(where are you from?) 'entha ivvide' (why are you here?) etc. And they don't stop till you just run out, screaming. They stare at you and whisper amongst themselves about you, even as you are looking at them.
CD's and cassettes lying out of their boxes.
Self Righteous extremism of any sort.
People who blow their cigarette smoke into my hair or my face.
People use excuses like 'commitment phobia'; 'don't believe in love'; 'I got so hurt, I never wanna date again' 'its not you, its me' etc instead of just saying, 'I am just not that into you'.
People who make too big a deal out of a silly Bschool entrance exam called CAT. Its not the be all and end all of life. Getting calls from IIM's don't prove a thing, except you are good at math and English, which honestly, is of NO CONSQUENCE. It neither makes you a better person or any more successful than the rest. So get off that utopian cloud.
Spam emails offering to increase the size of body parts that I don't possess.
Racists, communalists, and a new breed City-ists. People who think their city should have no more "outsiders" as they pollute the environment and the "culture". Instead of blaming lack of infrastructure or planning they just wanna throw out "outsiders", like that's going to help.
"Culture Fanatics". Please don't define culture by what one listens to or what one chooses to do after bedtime or what language one uses to communicate. Beating up women, female foeticide, dowry are all harsh realities of this much hyped "culture" crap.
People who think they have me all figured out.
People who do just about ANYTHING for attention and steal my thunder (oops, did I just say that aloud)
Crappy blogs that have only song lyrics and forwards and quizzila results on em
I detest chain letters and mushy forwards
Bums who give me missed calls and expect me to call back, to save their money
People who pretend to like me, and turn around and bitch about me behind my back.

Honestly, I had no qualms finding 20. In fact I wish there were 40. So I tag,

Shru

Yesh

Tricie

And anyone who's here for the first time. :)

2005-12-18T02:16:00.001+05:30

Shopper's Guilt (shp-rs glt):
n.
a condition suffered by mostly women, when you spend too much money and then go home feeling guilty

e.g: Shopper's Guilt began to set in as I walked out of Claires with bags full of accesories, I'd never wear.

Unshopping ( n-shpng ) :
v.

The embarrasing, traumatic and scarring experience (following shoppers guilt) of having to return shopped items with tags on, due to lack of funds.

e.g: I had to return the stuff I'd never use, from Claires, so I could buy a pair of Nike shoes, I needed

2005-12-16T15:35:00.000+05:30

"Pets are God's way Of saying 'Don't lower the bar because you are lonely' "

You think?

2005-12-08T16:29:00.000+05:30

The Story so far...
Hours Spent on Building the Resume : 90
Days since the first application: 9

Job Applications sent : 6
Replies Received: 0
Moments Spent whining : 213546

In The Hot-seat!

2005-12-01T12:14:00.002+05:30

In The Hot-seat!
Ranj, has tagged me.. I don't know who reads my blog on a regular basis. So whoever does, please feel free to tag yourself. Oh wait, Juggy, I know you are reading this. So well, you are tagged.

Useless trivia about me

I am not a rich poor kid.
'Shallow' is my first name.
I read 'trash' magazines like Cosmopolitan & Vogue
I DO NOT like women. (Ranj, Shru, you know you are exceptions)
I always carry a pen, no matter where I go.
I am obsessed with smells. I have to smell great, my food should smell good, my soap should smell a certain way, same with shampoo, the room, other people, my breath and yours too.
I have 8 pairs of Giordano Jeans. That's the only brand I wear.
I am a gadget freak. I own a Sony handycam, A Sony Cybershot, An Apple Ipod, A relatively new nokia & A Toshiba laptop.
I like throwing things around to calm my temper.
I have very few friends and I'd do a lot for them.
I do not like people who are intentionally careless about the way they spell, and don't want to fix it.
I can stalk people.
I have slapped strangers and I wasn't even drunk.
I keep a dream journal, because most of them have come true.
I can't cook and I don't wish I could, unless I am stark raving hungry.
I don't like to mix my friends. I like keeping em in small, separate, distinct, circles.
I am embarrassed by PDA (Public Display of Affection).
Shopping soothes my soul more than yoga or meditation.
I hate hanging out with large groups of people.
I can lie with a straight face though I hate doing it.

Dee en Dee

2005-11-30T00:41:00.002+05:30

Do Not Disturb?

Help Me get this. I see B schoolers and engineers on IM's with a status message that reads,

"Exams/scramming/stuffing/Whatever! Do Not Disturb"

Okay, just so I understand, would it not be easier to just say 'busy'? If that still gets people talking to you, would it not be easier to be 'invisible' or just completely go offline? What purpose would it serve to be online, let people see you are online and announce, you don't feel like talking?

Special Announcement

2005-11-22T14:20:00.000+05:30

We interrupt this program for a special announcement. It has been brought to our notice, that the readers of this blog however few they may be, have a few queries that requires immediate looking in to.

Queries:

Why doesn't the author write more often?

That's easy. I only write when I feel passionate enough about something to post about. I hate crappy, I-woke-up-at-noon-today-and-scratched-my-elbow kind posts. I also severely despise blogs that only have *I am listening to…* posts containing song lyrics. I do not want my blog to be either. My creativity or whatever's left of it, comes in, the form of occasional chokes and splutters. And that’s how I feed my blog.

Why is the blog so author-centric?

Because I love *me*. And it's the easiest thing to write about me. And my opinion about me is indisputable unlike, say, Oprah or Bush. Having said that, I also find it challenging to write about me and yet manage to retain my Oh-so-mysterious personality. So you'll probably see fewer posts about me, if I can help it.

A special note:

I do not discuss my posts. I find that very annoying. If you have something to say, leave a comment or a shout. But please don't bring up the blog in conversation. Having to talk about it, kills the purpose of the blog.

Now we return to our not-so-regular programming on My Sound Station. Thank you for your attention.

Lessons I Learnt

2005-10-25T17:14:00.000+05:30

Lessons I Learnt

Words like 'cool', 'chill', 'relax' & the latest hybrid 'chillax' work me up more than anything else in the world.

Playing hard-to-get gets harder with age.

Watching Oprah can do wonders for my self esteem.

Un-boyfriends are like boomerangs, they have a way of finding me, no matter where I hide.

Whoever said "ignorance is not a defense" should go back to law school.

Work is the most over rated thing in the world (and you thought it was 'love' & 'sex').

Parents are not gods and its unfair to treat them that way.

Saying 'I love you' loses its appeal over a period of time.

Saying 'I hate you' is easier than you think.

Contrary to popular belief & unlike previously imagined, stalking does not increase your lovability. It merely makes a good case for a restraining order.

The word 'pecking order' has more to do with pecking than order. The more you peck, the higher you are in the order.

I started learning HR (Human Relations) & Public Relations (Public Relations) in my school playground at recess.

PMS is a good excuse to be mean to people, though it only lasts few days a month.

I don't need an excuse to be mean to people.

Lists make the best blogs.

The Truth

2005-10-06T23:15:00.000+05:30

The Truth

Do you believe in Ghosts? No? Good then, you'll never see them. The truth about ghosts, fairies, elves, tooth fairies or even god, is that… they exist only if you believe in them. A ripple of doubt, and poof, they're gone. But the fact that their being depends on your faith in them, does not make them any less real. There's only one emotion I know, that works the same way... Love.

You may see flaws in my theory... but I believe in it and that's all that matters... at least, for now.

Are You a Non Girlfriend?

2005-10-02T05:10:00.000+05:30

Are You a Non Girlfriend?

Intellectual Whore

Click on the link. Read it? No? Then go back and read it. Don't read this post without reading that first.

Done?

Good, now let me explain some terms.

Woody Allen: My alter ego.

Nah! I am just kidding. He's actually this alien who landed on our planet for a vacation. He started talking to people about his planet and how things work around there. He was downright serious. But people started finding him funny and though he was frickin brilliant. So he made a living out of telling his tale and decided not to go back to his planet anyway.

Outlaw Bikers: A representation of all bad boy characters you can't take home to meet your mom and dad. But they turn you on anyway. For instance, people with a substance abuse problem; substances may be alcohol, speed, cocaine or even you.

The word 'intellectual whore' is just a part of a whole huge theory called the ladder theory. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the theory, but the only problem is the author assumes the theory only holds good for men.

But women can be intellectual whores(IW) too. Now if you have read the page I asked you to, you would know I don’t mean smart sluts. Its just an extension of the ladder theory. Sofor our convenience of understanding, female IW’s shall be called Non-Girlfriends (NG).

If you find yourself in a LOT of conversations, where you hear:

"You are the sister I never had"

That is the equivalent of being told I WILL NEVER DATE YOU, in guy language…Unless he has a thing for incest.

"I really like you, but I don’t see you that way"

Do I even have to explain this? Oh I do? Here goes… HE DOESN’T DIG YOU. This has a potential for turning into a 'can you baby-sit my kid sister while I date this hot chick' situation.

"You are the best"

Owww.. that's the worst of em all. That's like saying, I-know-this-is-the-best-you-can-do-but-its-not-sufficient-for-me-to-date-you.

If you find yourself holding all of the following titles, except girlfriend:

accountant
advisor
baby sitter
chauffer
date to get into couples-only-places
emergency credit card
fuck buddy
gal pal for watching chick flicks
hair doer
joker
kind neighbour
lame excuse for a best friend
matrimonial counsellor
negotiator between him and girlfriend
only-one-who-will-bail-him-out-at 3am
parents-love-you-but-I-don’t
Spooning buddy

... it pains me to go on.. so if you said yes for even a quarter of the above, I am satisfied.

Well, then, I am sorry to say you are an NG

F A Q

Are you, the author, an NG?
That's irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

He’s my best friend but he’s just not aware of my feelings for him. He will love me back eventually.
Reality Check: No he won't. If you really want to know how a guy's mind works read this. Word to word.

You are just bitter, because things didn't work for you.
Really? You don't say... You have me all figured out.

Get a Life!!
How about you give me yours?

Do you believe in the ladder theory?
Yes, I do. Totally and without doubt.

I just found out I am a NG. What do I do?
That's something I can't help you with it, just yet. They have a whole forum for IW's. But I don't know how helpful it will be to you. Maybe you should start a forum yourself.

What inspired you?
Its 5 am in the morning. I am bored. Do I need say more?

One

2005-09-28T00:51:00.000+05:30

I want to have my own concert, just once. . . in front of a million people.. waving their hands.. while I sing a song.. just one song.. any song..

No, not any song. An angry girl song. A really angry song. But I have to be playing the guitar. And for that one night, I want all of my long hair back. On a returnable basis, of course.

Just one night, one song, one concert, one million people..

Someday...

I am the Queen Of make believe.

Indeed

Birthday resolutions For Un-birthdays:

2005-09-14T00:01:00.000+05:30

Shall try to learn a language this year.
Will not waste money on Sexy and expensive lingerie as pointless since have no boyfriend to show it off to
Shall not go on wild Friend Adding Spree on Orkut.
Shall lose cellulite and saddlebags.
Will not get upset over being spurned by men, the likes of NV, AP, PM etc. but be more understanding on why they don’t like me.
Shall be nicer to women and friends’ Girl girlf(r)iends.
Shall not spend over $5 on hair cuts per month
Shall not hook up with Snack Boyfriends, Single Use Boyfriends and Re boyfriends.
Will spend less time writing letters I will never send.
Will not tolerate emotional fuck-wittage (courtesy: BJ) from Spineless men
Will not date:

People with girlfriends/wives/children

Smokers

Workaholics

Bi-curious people

People whose ideal place to go on a date is a heavy metal Pub

People with too many female friends

People with trust-issues

People prone to DJ Overdose

Megalomaniacs

Chauvinistic pricks

Moody Bums

Shall not fall in love with more than one person at once.
Will not buy any more bottles to put my feelings in.
Will not fall in love with celebrities.
Will take more pictures of others and less pictures of self.
Shall spend less time in front of reflective surfaces.
Will not buy books with fancy names to merely adorn shelf
Shall not collect music akin to collecting stamps
Will treat laptop more kindly
Will spend more time talking to people than inside my head
Shall not display stalker-ish tendencies.
Will refrain from Foot-in-mouth syndrome (has nothing to do with foot and mouth disease)
Will not judge people by the way they write.
Will not watch Sex & The City like a self help program.

Letter To Kal Penn

2005-08-30T13:06:00.000+05:30

Dear Kal Penn

You know how I hate writing celebrity fan mail. All my efforts to impress you will be lost on your secretary who’ll read my letter. So this seems a tad easier.

The reason I am writing to you is, you were in my dreams last night. You know you had no business being there. Its strictly Friends & Old Lovers zone only…Well occasionally it could be a Potential Lover(PL) Zone, as well. Does this mean, you are one of em PL’s? That’s what I thought too… Now that you are reading this, I was just wondering…

In the movie Harold and Kumar, you remember the scene at white castle, where you gorge all of em burgers? Since you are a veggie, did they make you special vegetable burgers?

And the next time you decide to visit me, it would be nice, if you could leave me your number, so I could call you when I wake up…

One more thing. . . I think you looked hot in your episode of Tru Calling.

That will be all.

Love,

List Mania - Part 1

2005-08-24T12:38:00.000+05:30

I have never:

seen the Taj Mahal (I doubt if I will)
learnt to whistle (believe me, I have tried)
never cheated in an exam (yes, yes, Chicken!)
dated a woman (I don't get along with women)
played with dolls (I get a complex looking at em Barbies)
killed anyone (though, I have gotten pretty close)
forgotten my own birthday (never figured, how one can forget his/her own birthday)
been given flowers by a guy (can you believe that?)
been in touch with anyone for longer than 4 years (yup! That's about how long I last)
made a crazier list. (More to follow)

Watching Page 3

2005-08-07T15:29:00.000+05:30

Watching Page 3

Time elapsed- 16:19

Shucks! Are people that fickle? Surely this an exaggeration. So far, Boman Irani and Sandhya are the only two people who can seem to say their lines naturally. The rest seem to be just reading it off from their memory, by rote. It looks like a bunch of clichés rolled into one : makeup men have to be gay, actresses dating cricketers… and for crying out loud, that bloody supposedly-love-bite looks likes a goddamn burn. Where is this movie going anyway?

Time elapsed- 17: 51

“In spite of being such a successful film star he isn’t having an affair with any actress…”

“Is he gay?”

“No no, he’s straight.”

This is some stupid newfangled theory. Successful+Single+Goodlooking = Gay? Why not eligible bachelor? Why not secret lover? Why not low sex drive? Why GAY?

Time elapsed – 18: 37

“You treat your husband like a dog, really”

“Baby, trust me that’s the way they’re supposed to be treated. Otherwise he’ll run away with some slimey bitch.”

I second that… the bitch she that she is, she would need a dog to match. And I have a feeling, he’s seeing Slimey already. Hmmm.

Time elapsed – 38:50

“blah blah blah… promising bhi hai sir. Kya karoon sir?

Ominous silence

Director says, “Degi Kya?”

Umm… what’s that? I think I missed a word. Rewind.

“Degi Kya?”

No, that is indeed what he said. What the hell does he want? Money? Good performance? What? What?

Director smirks, “Bulao usay”

Time elapsed – 39:24

Oh so that’s what this’ all about. . . Casting couch. Another cliché hurled. *sigh*

Time elapsed – 44:45

I am not liking konkana sen at all. Nor her character. Too syrupy sweet and nice. Oh gawd, that’s like the two most over-abused insipid words I know. ‘Nice’ and ‘Sweet’. She’s too goody-two-shoes and utopia-cally upright to be writing for Page 3

Time elapsed – 46:04

Why do they always dress up Bobby Darling like that? They always make him look so horny and transvestite like… when all he is, is just gay.

Time elapsed – 47:10

“Who’s the new one with Harsh?”

“Pearl . . .an airhostess”

“Ooh… a new trolley to lolly…”

This is end-of-life crisis, which occurs in most women after 50. I suppose the director wanted them to look and sound bitchy. I take it one step further. They are sickeningly repulsive too. They're prolly not getting enough. I hope they die a nice painful death.

Time elapsed – 52: 50

Sandhya Mridul’s hair grew overnight for the party and then regained its length by the next morning. I wish I had magical hair like that.

Time elapsed – 1:06: 57

Oh I am sorry, Bobby Darling is a transvestite. S/he uses the ladies loo.

CD 2

Time elapsed – 04:10

The supposedly single successful hero turns out to be married and father to an infant. Okay, so I didn’t think of that. At least I didn’t suggest he’s gay.

Time elapsed – 13:10

Don’t these people get fed up of eating at Pizza Hut all the time?

Time elapsed – 22:09

I refuse to believe that people can be so shallow and fickle. They are at a funeral for Gods sake.

Time elapsed – 29:25

Oh, I think this is going to better now. Madhavi sees ‘real life’. Dead bodies and corpses. Gory.

Time elapsed – 37:20

Uh Oh. Madhavi's boyfriend turns out to bisexual. Bad scene. Can't they ever lock the door? Funny thing that. Had it been a man who’d caught his girlfriend with another woman, I dare suspect he would have jumped in.

Time elapsed – 51:52

I love Boman Irani. Period.

Time elapsed – 53:26

“We have to be in the system, to change the system”. Nice line that.

Time elapsed – 58:32

Oh no… more parties. Are we going in circles here?

Madhavi agrees with me, tells gay friend who laid her boyfriend, "Next time, lock the door."

“No permanent friendships. No permanent enemies.” says director-cum-casting-couch potato man

Madhavi the nice one, turns cynic. Shucks! in a few years from now, I see myself heading that way.

Finally movie over. *sigh* hardens my resolve to never watch hindi movies. Amen!

Gandhi On Sale

2005-08-04T23:16:00.000+05:30

You MUST check out this ad. Its way beyond brilliant.

Click here

Playing Tag

2005-07-05T15:48:00.000+05:30

I haven’t read too much, in a long time. I used to focus on reading light weight books at the hospital. No, not light on my mind. Light on my hands.

Demons of Chitrakut by Ashok. K. Banker:

Third in the Ramayana series, the author actually strips down Ram and the other characters to ordinary mortals. Mortals who are neither glorified nor worshipped. No hidden philosophies, no gyan. Just another good piece of fictional writing.

We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda by Philip Gourevitch:

My all time favourite book. This is 100% fact and zero fiction. You have to read this book chapter by chapter each day. There’s too much information and way too much food for thought. Philip recounts experiences of the various victims of the Rwandan Genocide. Even as he doesn’t cut back on the gruesome details, there’s amazing grace in the way he describes them.

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand:

People hail her philosophy of objectivism and all that jazz. At a time where reading Ayn rand is considered fashionable in intellectual circles, I merely draw simple values. Love oneself. Love your work, more than the people who give it to you. And never give up. To all those people who exhort the virtues of ego, individualism and objectivism: Keep It Simple, Stupid!

The Roald Dahl Treasury:

I wouldn’t lend this book to a soul. This book containing excerpts from his works has all the magic you need to transport you into his weird worlds of Giant peaches and Big Friendly Giants and Obscenely huge chocolate factories. People who think its for kids, stop being so grown up about it.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini:

With Afghanistan grabbing the headlines ever so often, this book seemed timely. For a first book, Khaled has done a good job of creating characters and settings close to reality. This book follows the life of Kabul and Hassan and how the betrayal of one friend changes the life of the other.

I love reading, but I hate having to write about it.

The Stuff Ads Are Made Of. . .

2005-02-25T20:09:00.000+05:30

You see it every time. The Filmstar is dancing/singing on stage. . suddenly he invites any female upstage. Our protagonist is contemplating whether she should or not. And then there it is. . Our magically confidence inducing Deo/soap/shampoo/sanitary napkin even. . appears on screen. She obviously uses it cuz she seizes the opportunity and goes on stage. She dances/sings so well that the audience is spell bound and so is the celebrity. And bam! Someone offers her role in the films and the secret of her sucess? The product, of course. .

My story is . . well. . a little different. I went on stage knowing that no one in the crowd would ever remember me, even if I made a fool of myself. No credits to any products, I am sorry. I was told I sang well, by a few members of the audience and THE man himself. But no, I wasn't offered a role in films. . But just being there on stage and singing with Him was an experience and a rewarding one, at that.

Ladies and gentlemen. . The Man. .

Lucky Ali.

Kajal's Story

2005-02-19T11:14:00.001+05:30

Meet Kajol alias Manjeet Kaur. Kajal is 18 and works at Ballerina. Ballerina is what Bangaloreans call (for unfathomable reasons) a ‘Live Band Bar’. And believe me, there are no drum kits and acoustic guitars playing, nor a singer crooning. Instead we have women dancing away to various Bollywood numbers. Kajal is one of them. Yes, it is what we better know as Chammiya Bars.

It was my idea to investigate what actually happens behind those closed doors. My handycam was indeed ‘handy’. We punctured a hole in a plastic bag and placed the camera as the film rolled on wherever we went. If we had tried to film anything openly, my camera would’ve been smashed to smithereens. I must’ve visited about 2 to 3 bars so far. And they aren’t very different from each other. Only the rates for the alcohol vary. As my partners took turns in holding our ‘handybag’ discreetly and aiming it right (you must understand, we had no idea what we were shooting as we couldn’t look through our ‘view finder’; we were going by our vague sense of judgment, alone), I silently observed and sometimes joined in their fun and frolic.As I spoke to them and danced with them to gain their confidence, I could’ve easily passed off as one of ‘them’,to an outsider. The women loved me, my piercings et al.

If anything, I think they deserve more respect than any of the scantily clad women I see at Spinn or Club X (these are discotheques I frequent). At the Chammiya bars, the dancers are dressed modestly and men aren’t allowed to touch them. The formidable looking bouncers take care of that. They dance for money and intoxicated men pay to watch. On the dance floor of the clubs I have been to, women are barely-dressed, pay to dance and make out happily on the floor with men they may have just met or their boyfriends, much to the pleasure of the voyeurs who ‘love to watch’.

Kajal was one of my primary sources of information. She agreed to meet me for lunch the next day. But she had no idea I was a journalist. In fact I ensnared her in my web of lies. . . Something I very deeply regret. She told me of the various customers who come to the bar. The dancers are often from other states. Kajal is from Punjab. They all live with the owner and get about 50% of the collections. Now collection is what would be better defined as the money thrown at these women when they dance, LITERALLY. Last month, Kajal earned about 20, 000, of which she sent home 15,000, to her mother and 4 siblings. She started dancing at the age of 12 when her mother left her abusive father. The family had nothing to eat and the onus of winning the bread fell squarely on her shoulders.

One of the often heard rumors was that these Chammiya bars also ran a prostitution racket, which Kajal clearly denied. The owner rarely forced them to have sex with any of the customers. But if the dancers wanted to earn the extra moolah, the owner doesn’t stop them. So is Kajal one of them? Dare I ask? I did, as a matter of fact. She has a ‘boyfriend’ who ‘loves’ her and hence there is no need to supplement her income, for she is well ‘take care of’.

I haven’t called Kajal, since. I do plan to, pretty soon. Meanwhile, I leave you with the translated transcript (we conversed in Hindi) of one of my conversations with Kajal.

Me: So have you been to many discs and clubs in Bangalore?

Kajal: Just once and that was more than enough.

Me: Why is that?

Kajal: There were men putting theirs hands under womens shirts and women had their hands going down men’s pants. . (blushing lightly). I just wanted to run away. (silence). . How can they do such things in public and why do they look down upon us?

Sanjûrô

2005-01-15T22:33:00.000+05:30

There are people who don’t watch black and white movies and some others who wouldn’t watch subtitled ones either. I fall in the latter category. However the movie Sanjûrô is made to convert people like me. Akira Kurosawa, who has made movies like the much celebrated Seven Samurai and Yojimbo, directs Sanjûrô.

When we were briefed at school about Japanese movies and how they were mostly about honor and sacrifice, I was expecting to make up for my lack of sleep half way through the film. The film opens with a scene showing nine people speaking in a language that sounds like English spoken backwards.. But the first impression that I got of the movie was that of a play due to the exaggerated reactions and caricatured characters. At first to watch the movie while reading the subtitles was a little distracting. But eventually got the hang of it.

The lead actor Toshiro Mifune, is outstanding in his role as the protagonist Sanjûrô which is a name he seems to have made up. . The name means ‘30’ and it’s not revealed till about 30 minutes of the movie is over. The nine idealistic young men plot to save their clan from corrupt influences while their king is away. Sanjûrô grudgingly adopts the well-meaning but hopelessly clumsy heroes, giving the starry-eyed youths a series of lessons in real-world honor and respect while saving their skins from reckless attacks and impulsive plans. Toshiro Mifune as an unconventional samurai brings Sanjûrô to life even as scratches his scraggly beard and distractedly rubs his neck almost through the whole movie. He always has his arms out of the sleeves, close to his body, the empty arms of the garment, hanging. It's cool, though, when he is running, then, as he slows, and approaches what will be his prey, his arms descend into the kimono sleeves, terminating in his clenched fists. Though action is minimal in this movie, Mifune bounds into action in a number of impressive sword fights--wonderfully choreographed lightning-quick battles in which Mifune leaps all over the widescreen image. The image of a yawning and grunting and forever hungry yet shrewd Sanjûrô is brilliant juxtaposed against the mechanized movements and facial expressions of the nine young men who could be kimono-clad duplications of a bunch of nitwits in gray flannel suits. The wise samurai is always full of scorn and impatience for the nine naïve men and just can't get over how stupid and unprofessional as conspirators these fellows are.

Even the smaller characters bring in humor into the movie. The wife of the kidnapped Chamberlain delivers some very witty dialogues. Here’s one : “Killing people at the slightest excuse is a bad habit, you know”. A enemy soldier who is in Sanjûrô’s captivity is freed and fed by this woman. But yet he does not escape and returns to his little cupboard without being told. He even aids this little group of soldiers in the end. My favourite scene is when the soldier celebrates with the kids, the funny Japanese Tom and Jerry sort of music is loud and celebratory and they are dancing and holding hands and laughing. Suddenly they realize that they are too loud, and quiet down...and then they realize that the captive is out of his cupboard and the soldier quietly withdraws to his cubbyhole.

The last scene in the movie where Sanjûrô challenged to a duel by his disgraced enemy reminds one of those cowboy-movie-style duels where the last one standing blows the smoke off his gun.

The lesson learnt? Never judge a movie by the discussion that precedes it. J . No, jokes apart, the moral is to keep an open mind and be willing to experience something new without letting pre conceived notions kill it for you. And it’s not just about a movie. It’s about every decision that we make in life going by past experience and certain rules that misguide us than what is widely believed.

'Transit'rama

2005-01-13T16:04:00.000+05:30

The transit is a funny place of sorts. Somewhat of a waiting room. That’s the one thing I hate to do, wait. And that’s exactly the way I felt yesterday at the Bahrain International Airport.

If you’re waiting for me to say something like, ‘but something happened that changed my life…’ or ‘but I met the man of my dreams’, well you are disappointed. I still hate transit lounges. I hate being pinned down to one place. I was carrying about 9 kg’s of hand baggage (my laptop inclusive). And I can’t lug that kind of weight of around without having done some severe damage to my spine. So there I was, a haplessly bored person watching the world go by, literally. The emirates airlines has an Advert that says if you sit at the new york square for long enough you’ll see people from every country of the world (or at least something to that effect). Forget the New York Square, a transit lounge is good enough. The mad rush with people scurrying with their kids and luggage, to make it to the gate. It’s one thing if you’re late. But it’s another thing when you just want to beat everyone else to the departure gate. For the life of me, I can’t understand what that’s all about. You have your boarding pass and there’s no way you’ll ‘lose you seat’. You’re going to catch the flight anyhow.

Human beings are inherently competitive I think. It’s just where it surfaces that makes all the difference. For some it’s that vied chair at the corporate rat race, for others it’s a scramble to be socially popular and the most talked about. We have enough things that we need to compete for anyway. Sowhy take on more than you need to? Just lay back and relax, and enjoy life nice and easy.

Of the Tsunami And All That Followed

2005-01-07T17:12:00.000+05:30

My dad is what you would call a typical keralite (yeah, alright, 'mallu' then). To humor him my sis and I 'permit' him to watch the news on Asianet (a Malayalam channel).A channel the rest of the family despises.
A week after the Tsunami, almost all news channels were relaying statistics… of people dead, of people wounded, of people missing, of miracle rescues and not to mention of donations too. Asianet devoted 30 minutes of valuable air time to cover donations by almost every 'malayalee samaajam' in the middle east along with a 3 second shot of the cheques being handed over by each, not withstanding the 5 minutes scroll message showing names and addresses of donors and amount contributed to the Asianet Relief Fund.
Doesn't intent matter any more these days? Maybe not. I doubt if the people starving and ailing really care where the money and aid is coming from as long as they get it. But do they really get it? Even as reports come in, of aid distribution being unorganised and skewed there is also news of tonnes of grains waiting to be transported, of thousands of cartons of clothes gathering dust in warehouses.
But then there is always someone who sets the example. Here's one:

http://www.gulf-times.com/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=21356&version=1&template_id=39&parent_id=21

Rants Of A Scribe

2004-11-01T22:42:00.000+05:30

Enough and more has been said about the editorial policy of the Times Of India. Here's what I think.

May it be something as grandiose as India Shining or something as mundane as my social studies textbooks from school, I have had people constantly fishing new reasons to arouse patriotic feelings. Cultural diversity, geographical diversity, linguistic diversity and so much more and like a dressing on a cake- "unity in Diversity". I'd learn by rote all of this and never ever gave it a second thought till I actually came to India to pursue my undergraduate studies. And here I found diversity of a new sort, something we have less reasons to be proud of. Economic Diversity. And from this stems so many other differences. Its like three different worlds co-existing on ethereal platforms.

In one world there are the Ambani's, the Tata's and all those people who have found a permanent place in page 3. They have perhaps passed all the levels of Maslow's Pyramid and have seemingly created new ones. Needs that only they feel and realise. Needs that seem frivolous and asinine to people from other worlds. They live in a cultural paradox. Trying to accommodate the western concepts and yet unable to incorporate it within the limitations of an Indian Society. The media constantly hounds them and everything they do is news. Or perhaps they aspire to create news. Either ways the end result is the same. No these are not just targets that are easy and fashionable to attack but also politically incorrect to touch.

In another world there are children who are fed on grass and as they peer into another news channel, are full of an infantile senility that people from the above world have never encountered. They all fight their own private battles for survival, each less glamorous than the other. Their festivals are not marked on our calendars. Oh no, they aren't… For their festivals are neither related to the appeasement of multitude of Gods and Goddesses or the celebration of harvests. Their festivals are in accordance with our electoral campaigns when politicians are at their most benevolent best.

And they get their rare treat of food and clothing… And finally the middle earth… the struggling middle class. Perhaps the trapeze artists of our Great Indian Circus… as they swing without safety nets. Why 'struggling', you ask? Because, it is indeed a struggle to try and climb out their world to a paradise glorified by media. And yet fighting to keep above the world below the poverty line. Their 'tryst with destiny' is more grave than Nehru could have ever imagined. For they're still fighting for freedom, though a very different kind of freedom…

Journalists in our country have a mammoth task : to keep all three 'worlds' happy. One man's meat is another's poison isn't it? That’s probably why we have newspapers grossly different in their policies. And yet, we have full time reporters to cover Golf and other sports but not even one to cover rural poverty or unemployment. Maybe that should explain the stand taken by Times Of India. Or maybe it doesn't.. You tell me!

Cheers
DJK

My Sound Station

Dear Friends....

Get Gorgeous Or UnHinged

Precious Words of Wisdom

Damien Rice on Tour

Welcome To The Freak Show

Virtuously Yours

Side : Travis

One Right Stand

Flash Fiction Cleverly Disguised As Spam

Living The Sugar-Cube Life

Freshly Imported

Just so you know..

MJ in Qatar

Raavan & Friends

Goa Ir

Absolut Congrats

Being Politically "In"

Flash Fiction, Perhaps?

Arabs Aren't Asians Or What?!!

It's Time? *Update*

Asians Are Racists

In case you were wondering...

Lankan expats 'forced to fund LTTE'

New Space

Occupational Hazards

Last Post

Eraser

Wrong Day

Fake Headlines

Dear Artist

MV Doulos

Basturd

In The Hot-seat!

Dee en Dee

Special Announcement

Lessons I Learnt

The Truth

Are You a Non Girlfriend?

One

Birthday resolutions For Un-birthdays:

Letter To Kal Penn

List Mania - Part 1

I have never:

Watching Page 3

Gandhi On Sale

Playing Tag

The Stuff Ads Are Made Of. . .

Kajal's Story

Sanjûrô

'Transit'rama

Of the Tsunami And All That Followed

Rants Of A Scribe

It's Time? Update