.. why didn't he answer my call yesterday? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? Maybe the phone was elsewhere. But then, he would have seen my missed call by now. Why didn't he call back?
"Lie down.."
..Maybe he was tired. Or maybe he thought I'd call again. Or could it have been something I did last night? Maybe I kissed too hard? Kissed too much? Drat, too eager. They hate that.
"How do I feel when I touch you here?"
"It's okay.."
".. and here?"
"Better.."
..Its better that I don't really call today. Maybe he'll miss me so much, that he'll call back. I should give him that chance, right? I shouldn't look desperate or stalkerish to him. Absolute no-no.
"Can you make little circles with your toes? Right here.. no, lower.. lower.. aaaahh.. right there.. yeah"
.. Yeah, no calling today. No SMS. No chat. No nothing. He'll think of me. He'll miss me. And he'll want me so much, he'll call me for sure.
"Spread your legs.. wider... no some more."
..What if he doesn't call? I should have a plan B. Surely I can't call him tomorrow. That'll look so lame. He'll see right through it. How can I not talk to him for two days?
"Faster, K. Faster... yes... yes.. I know this 50 year old woman who had two accidents. She was here last evening. She does it better and faster than you. Fasssttteerr... K.. "
..Maybe I am going too fast. We should do this slow. I should give him space. Yes. That's whats every guy wants. Space. But what does one do with all that 'space'.
"aaaahhh.. wonderful.. Now turn over. That's right.. on your tummy.. Love your ass by the way "
.. I was almost tempted to say the 'L' word yesterday. I wanted to. Maybe he saw that I wanted and that I didn't and that pissed him off. But I didn't want to scare him away. Surely he should know that.
.. Why does it have to be so hard everytime? I think I should call him. Just once. No more. And if he doesn't answer, then I'll never call him again. .till tomorrow..
"It was good today, no? Here, wear your clothes.. take a shower. See you tomorrow. We'll try something new next time."
"Sure.. Can't Wait."
Above mentioned is a true incident, interspersed with true thoughts, that occured during a regular session of physiotherapy.
I think this is a thought cycle that is too typical of all women. I have had the exact same thoughts, countless number of friends have had it, countless number of friends of countless number of friends have had it...
Arghhh and it's started going on in my head again!
Absolutely great post, but why did you post it? Why do we post our intensely personal thougts on the Web for people to read? So they can admire us? Envy our interesting lives and weird minds, perhaps? And when we think things that are personal but would make for a good post, why can't we resist publishing?
@Moon child : Thank you. :) Yes, this disease chooses toinflict itself on me on the choicest of occasions . :)
@Frust: Well, maybe this is not as intensely personal as it can get, you know? I have thoughts that are far more private than these. And when I don't quite reveal the actual context of these thoughts, its fairly acceptable to allow people to empathise, with how I feel/felt. :)
I think this is a thought cycle that is too typical of all women. I have had the exact same thoughts, countless number of friends have had it, countless number of friends of countless number of friends have had it...
Arghhh and it's started going on in my head again!
Excellent post!
Absolutely great post, but why did you post it? Why do we post our intensely personal thougts on the Web for people to read? So they can admire us? Envy our interesting lives and weird minds, perhaps? And when we think things that are personal but would make for a good post, why can't we resist publishing?
@Moon child : Thank you. :) Yes, this disease chooses toinflict itself on me on the choicest of occasions . :)
@Frust: Well, maybe this is not as intensely personal as it can get, you know? I have thoughts that are far more private than these. And when I don't quite reveal the actual context of these thoughts, its fairly acceptable to allow people to empathise, with how I feel/felt. :)
Gud man..i loved the thot process..u ll soon find a place in my blogroll.
Thank You, Harry. :)
Skill - your ability to make us squirm ;)
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